Knight And Day
By no means an excruciating watch, just a complete waste of time for anyone not enamoured of the stars.
For a movie from the director of diverse films such as 3:10 To Yuma and Walk The Line, Knight and Day is a crushing disappointment. It beggars belief why James Mangold was the man chosen for this sloppy vehicle for star Tom Cruise.
The ambitions are obvious: an old-fashioned caper that relies on the charm of its leading couple. Cruise has enormous fun sending up the action hero persona, but as rogue spy Roy he's enjoying himself far more than we are. Cameron Diaz isn't as hapless and pathetic as the trailers implied, but her June is an empty character, a car restorer whose only aim in the movie is to be bridesmaid to her little sister (Lost's Maggie Grace in a pointless role).
All the dazzling smiles of Cruise and Diaz can't make up for a lack of chemistry in this remarkably PG-13 affair, and any sparks are from the pair's genuine likeability. The most smouldering between Roy and June takes place in the opening scenario, which involves June accidentally boarding an empty flight designed to take Roy into custody. Belief is out of the window, after a brief moment of passion is delayed by Roy having to take down said plane, along with all the secret agents on board.
There follows an extended chase, led by Peter Saarsgard's slimy FBI agent, leading to some astonishingly dull shoot-outs, which feel aggressively out of place given the aim of remaining light-hearted. A cartoonish plot sees June in grave danger because of her knowledge of Roy, who returns to rescue her in spectacular over-the-top fashion, all cars and bikes ablazing. The unhinged Roy swings between grinning mania, smooth charm and deathwish bravery, which, if you're not a Cruise fan, will probably drive you insane. Fans will be happy to overlook the tedious nonsense that takes Roy and June to gorgeous locations across the world (bar the vile glamorisation of bull-running in Seville), and lap up Cruise doing his thing. However, it's painful to see him swinging back to such fluff, when he could have another Magnolia or Collateral inside him.
It's also heartbreaking to have to shoehorn Paul Dano into a review, as his geeky, socially awkward genius is the reason Roy is on the run from his bosses. But, like Diaz, the gifted There Will Be Blood star has little to do except tremble as Cruise saves the day. A story that is bobbins can be excused if one or more other criteria are met, i.e. dazzling performances, sharp script, visual flair. However, the viewer is essentially forking out their hard-earned money to see tourist board adverts for the likes of Salzberg, and pay for Cruise and Diaz to have a lengthy holiday. All you'll get in return is a kip during the boring bits involving arms dealers, and the view of tumbleweed during the unoriginal slapstick (I think Cruise's demented behaviour is supposed to be what's funny). By no means an excruciating watch, just a complete waste of time for anyone not enamoured of the stars.
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