5 Weird Christmas Films
Here are some of our favourites for when you fancy something a little different this Christmas.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and the time has come for us to settle down in front of the log fire with some of our favourite festive films. Having already seen Jingle all the Way a few hundred times, here are some of our weirder favourites which we hope will pop up in the Radio Times this Holiday Season.
Jack Frost
Why not start with the best? Jack Frost is stalwart holiday viewing for us at ScreenGeek, a gory, insane horror film depicting a homicidal snowman’s rampage through a small town. This film is responsible for some of the best/worst dialogue in history, and the big(ish) screen debut of Shannon Elizabeth. Nobody can sit through this film without laughing out loud at least once, with the ridiculous plot, seemingly genuine attempts at peril in some sequences, and a fantastically square-jawed sheriff out to put an end to Frosty’s reign of terror making this our favourite weird Christmas film. The sequel, set on a tropical island, is also well worth seeking out.
Santa with Muscles
This is one of those films which far more people have read about than actually seen, and to be honest that isn’t such a bad thing. Featuring Hulk Hogan as a crook who takes a bump on the head, only to start believing he is Santa himself, the reformed criminal cleans up the streets, going up against a cartel of evil scientists who have their sights set on a local orphanage. Featuring a very young Mila Kunis, we wouldn’t imagine this is what got her the Black Swan gig, but is silly fun nonetheless.
Black Christmas
This is actually a very relevant piece of cinema history, being credited as one of the original slasher films. Indeed, this predates Carpenters seminal Halloween, making it a far more influential film than you would expect. The real highlight here is of course an appearance from cult favourite John Saxon, who the trailer really seems to push. Original Lois Lane Margot Kidder also crops up, in a film which packs some genuine frights into the running time.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2
A cheesy slasher which features some hilarious killings, Silent Night Deadly Night 2 is perhaps best known for starting the “Garbage day” YouTube craze a few years ago. This film includes some of the finest lines of dialogue ever committed to the screen, including gems such as “my name is Doctor Bloom, you can call me Henry. Or if you would feel more comfortable, just call me Doc.” “Fuck off, Doc.” More people can quote this than have actually seen it, but it is again one which is worth a watch just for a guaranteed giggle.
Rare Exports
Based on the well-known YouTube shorts, which pose as instructional videos on how to deal with wild Santas, Rare Exports is a very accomplished horror movie wrapped up in a bizarre interpretation of the Christmas mythology. It may not be perfect, in fact it is a little too slow moving compared to what we are led to expect, but they don’t come much weirder than this. A slick and well acted film, the horde of naked Santas will haunt our dreams for years to come.
Bonus: Treevenge
Not a feature film, but a short from heroic director Jason Eisener, who brought us Hobo with a Shotgun earlier this year. Extremely violent, funny and shocking, the film deals with the horrific genocide of innocent Christmas trees every December. This is most certainly NSFW, and is very, very nasty in places. Happy holidays!
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